Some Velvet Morning - Lee Hazelwood & Nancy Sinatra

"Flowers growing on the hill ... dragonflies and daffodils. Learn from us, very much. Look, but do not touch."

I never thought much about dragonflies before we lost our boys because of Leukemia. If I thought of them at all, it was only to think that they kept the mosquito population down, or that they were strange and peculiar looking creatures. But then, when we moved to Florida two years ago, they became a huge part of my life.

It began early one summer morning when Sally, the Wonder Westie, and I were out in the backyard. She was on her leash just sniffing around. Out of nowhere came an extraordinarily beautiful creature. He lit on her leash and walked it like a tight rope right up to my hand. I was pretty amazed – I just stood there staring. He was a lovely shade of orange with glittering golden wings. With huge black eyes, he stared up at me and then began to chatter. Did you know that dragonflies can “talk”? Neither did I until that morning. A moment later, a second dragonfly appeared, lighting on Sally’s leash behind the orange one. He was the most spectacular shade of iridescent purple I have ever seen, with silver wings.

We met every morning that summer, those two little dragonflies, Sally and I. I learned that if I held my index finger out straight and steady, occasionally one or the other would light there briefly. Their touch was soft and gentle. Sometimes, they would be joined by their friends ~ dazzling creatures in all the colors of the rainbow. There were red ones, green ones, blue ones, yellow ones. I never realized that dragonflies came in so many different colors. We began meeting in the afternoons, too. Sometimes, we would just talk, other times they would do soaring dances for me, flying high into the sky and circling round and round. Sometimes, one would light somewhere and sit for 30 minutes while I snapped pictures. That’s how I captured “Jeffrey’s Dragonfly” ~ the beautiful orange one that is the same color as Jeffrey’s hair! I so looked forward to our visits every day!! They go to bed as soon as the sun sets, but in summer that’s not very early, so we had lots of time together.

When the Fall came and, along with it, cooler weather, our visits became fewer and farther between until one day in November, there were no dragonflies waiting for me. That was a sad day, still I knew in my heart that they would be back, and I was thrilled that March morning when I saw the first one! While they were away, I set about learning everything I could about dragonflies. Did you know, because of their wing configuration, they can hover, can fly backwards, forwards and side-to-side. They are nature’s own little helicopters. Their gossamer-like wings are pretty tough. It takes a lot to tear one, though they look so very fragile. And, yes, they come in many different colors! You just have to look closely ~
I also came across this inspiring story about dragonflies that brought even more meaning to me:

The Dragon Fly ~ In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs. They could not understand why none of them ever came back after crawling up the stems of the lilies to the top of the water. They promised each other that the next one who made the climb would return to tell them what happened. Soon, one of them felt an urgent need to seek the surface. He climbed the stem and when he reached the surface, he rested on top of a lily pad. It was then that he went through the glorious transformation that made him a dragonfly with beautiful, amazing, translucent wings that shone many different colors in the sunlight. In vain he tried to keep his promise to return, flying back and forth over the pond and peering at his loved ones below. Then he realized that, even if they could see him, they wouldn’t recognize him for he was no longer a grub at the bottom of the pond. He had become such a radiant and beautiful creature.
Here’s the thing … Just because we can’t see our loved ones or recognize them after the transformation that we call death, it doesn’t mean they cease to exist. No, it doesn’t mean that at all.

I’ve learned a great deal about this journey of life from my amazing dragonflies. I’ve learned that our loved ones are not gone. They are all around us each and every day … perhaps in the eyes of the spectacular dragonflies.

Please see our blog at its new location ~ Nancy's Blog at Jeffrey's Voice ~ Together, we CAN cure leukemia and rid the world of this horrific disease once and for all. Together, we WILL ...

Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys ~ Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson

"Don't let 'em pick guitar or drive them old trucks, make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such ..."

So, I know that's what Waylon and Willie said, but sometimes cowboys are just born, and in spite of a Mama's best efforts, that's how they grow up. I have two cowboy sons and one "and such..."! Allyn made it clear from the outset that he was going to be a part of the elite and his tastes were such that cowboyhood never entered his mind. He isn't a doctor or lawyer, but rather a very successful executive whose talents are in high demand. That's good ... that makes me smile!

Jeff and Brian, on the other hand, were born as cowboys. From early on, they loved the outdoors and all the excitement of discovering the new things and the new experiences that it provided. Because they wanted to play outside so much of the time, we fenced in our backyard. That only held them in for a few years! As soon as they were big enough, they learned to jump it. That was no easy task, as it was a 5-1/2 foot wooden thing with a locking gate.  Somehow, they would manage to pull themselves up to the top and then dive over head first. Of course, Jeff would always talk his little brother into doing the dive first, so he could see how it went and determine if he really wanted to take that risk! Once released, they would explore the neighborhood with Thomas, their friend who lived a few doors down. That usually ended not so well for any of the three of them. There was always some mischief to make, and they had a keen sense of where that might be. So, they would go there and make it ~ mischief, I mean. We, or Thomas' parents, would always find out and then the cowboys would be corralled for a time.


There was a fairly large piece of land between the back of our fence and the street. It was heavily wooded and a perfect place for the guys to play. One summer, when they were 9 and 10, they built a "hide-out" back there from the plywood we had in our basement storage room. They took the large pieces of plywood and pushed them over the fence, then they would do the fence dive behind them. This little venture involved not only Thomas, but Timmy, as well ~ another neighbor from the next cul-de-sac. They drew plans for the hide-out and then set about building it. They spent hours and days hammering, building, creating. They begged for blankets and flashlights and other paraphernalia to make their hide-out a more comfortable place. They were SO proud when they finished. All the parents were called together to view their creation. Non-cowboy adults are much less adventurous and much more cautious than cowboy children. We weren't really in to doing the fence dive thing, so we walked around to the other side and went in from the back. We were amazed! They had pooled all of their resources and walked to the Ace Hardware where they purchased paint, several 2x4's and a battery-powered Coleman lantern. Their hide-out included benches and a make-shift table ~ the perfect place for "suburban cowboys". I was always surprised that the county didn't find it and remove it because a portion of it was on the right of way. I suppose it was back far enough in the woods that the workmen didn't see it. That little hide-out was still there when we sold that home several years later, although it wasn't used as frequently as that first summer when it was built!

As the boys grew older, they continued to like cowboy things. They camped, fished, and helped their cousin on his farm in middle Georgia, where they called themselves "ranch hands". Whitewater rafting, or just rafting period, was one of their favorite things to do, and hunting, of course! They both had pick up trucks and they both picked guitar. But here's the thing ...

Waylon & Willie said "Them that don't know him  probly won't like him & them that do sometimes won't know how to take him" ... I think being a cowboy isn't about what you've done or how you act. It's a state of mind ... an attitude. My cowboys were fiercely independent, wanted to find their own way, but still, kind, caring and so considerate. I could write for hours about my two cowboys and the cowboy things they did, and I could post lots of pictures. But, they didn't wear "lone star belt buckles" ~ faded Levis, well, yes, every now and then, but it was mostly Polos and Khakis. That's how it was ...

Waylon & Willie also said, "If you don't understand him and he don't die young, he'll probly just ride away ..." I like to think my two amazing cowboys just rode away, but the truth is, they died young, because of Leukemia ... my children, and so many more have been lost to this wretched disease. It's time we found a cure, don't you think?  "Cowboys ain't easy to love and harder to hold ..." said Waylon & Willie. My cowboys were so very easy to love, but so hard to hold. If I could have, well I would have. If I could have somehow protected them from disease and from heartbreak, well, I would have.

We can protect those struggling today with Leukemia ... those yet to come ... and honor those lost. Together, we can live in a world free of this wretched disease. You can help. Visit http://jeffreysvoice.org/ and join us in the fight. Oh, and Leukemia, well you SUCK ~