I'm Not Scared ... Unknown Artist

"There’s something flying through the air out there.

On a broomstick gliding through the air out there.

But I’m not scared 'cause I’m safe inside,

I’m not scared, but I think I’ll hide."

There was little "ditty" (that's a song) that our oldest son, Allyn, learned for Halloween back when he was in First Grade. When "the boys" - Jeff and Brian - came along, Allyn taught it to them before they even started school. We sang it for years every Halloween, but only during daylight hours! After dark, it would cause them, especially the little ones, undue fear.  That fear was furthered by the notion that all three of them believed I turned into a witch every night at midnight. Now, I don't know why that is ... perhaps it's genetic. You see, for years as a child, I believed my own dear, sweet Mother turned into a witch every night, too. It certainly couldn't have been that I encouraged that idea. No, there's not a chance of that!

It became a matter of great interest to the boys. They would ask me endless questions ~ "Where do you keep your broomstick, Mommy?" "Where's your cauldron?" "Can you cast spells?" "Do you have a black cat?" "Where is he?" "Do you have witch friends?" It was all an intriguing little game we played, especially at Halloween! They weren't afraid ~ in fact, they were never afraid of much of anything. They were just curious, and, of course, in their hearts they knew it was all a game. They loved Halloween and would plan their costumes for weeks. Halloween night, out the door we would go ... me in my witch paraphernalia and they in whatever costume they had decided upon. We were blessed, as my Mom was a wonderful seamstress and made their bunny, pumpkin, bear, Ninja Turtle, and many more costumes for years, until they reached the years that they wanted to be nasty, monstrous looking things with claws and fangs! The rule in our house was that when they reached 13, they could no longer go out "treating", as Allyn always called it, because there were no tricks. At that point, they would help me decorate, dress up in their scary costumes, and take turns handing out candy to the "treaters", as Allyn called them, because there were no "tricksters"!

But, as the boys grew older and entered the teen years, I think their belief that I was a witch intensified ~ especially when they couldn't have their way. They would ask, I would say "NO", and they would mutter under their breaths, "Mom's a witch!" I would say, "I heard that." Of course, then they would turn those years of fun and games right back on me ~ "Well, Mom, you said so!" And, well, I guess I did, and I suppose they could have called me worse, but they wouldn't have. Like I said, they had no fear ~ except, perhaps, of the wrath and withering looks from their Mother when they did something really bad. Being restricted from certain activities was not something they looked forward to, so they were generally pretty well-behaved ~ at least at home. Once away from home, well, that's another song for another day!

I'm not scared anymore, either. You see, when you face the worst a parent can imagine ~ the loss of two beautiful and amazing young sons within weeks of each other ~ things that you once feared, no longer have much meaning. There is one thing that I do fear, though, and that is not defeating Leukemia. I fear one more person suffering the devastating impact of this wretched disease. And, although I know that today, like everyday, there will be 118 new diagnoses of Leukemia, and that 60 will be lost, I will fight for a cure until I draw my last breath. You see, Leukemia was the enemy of Jeff and Brian ~ now it is mine. I hope to make it yours. There are no known causes for Leukemia or known ways to prevent it. That is why research into the causes and cures is so very, very critical. Visit Jeffrey's Voice and learn more about our mission to find a cure. Help us by donating ~ there is no amount too small. Every penny, every dime, every dollar donated to Jeffrey's Voice brings us closer to the day when no more are lost to Leukemia, when all remissions are permanent, and when finally there is a cure for all.

Happy Halloween!